12 disciples resume
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the 12 men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant. It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education, and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.
Sacred Space
Jump to navigation. I've saved the best for last. It's from a guy named Mr. Anyway, you won't believe this guy's resume. It's really short and hilarious. Apparently, he doesn't have any formal theological training. In fact, he doesn't even list an address and there's no phone number. And check this out.
Under "Experience" it says, "Discipled 12 men for 3 years as we walked around the country, depending on God for our food, clothing, and shelter. We preached about the Judgment to come and the need for repentance from sin.
Under "Special Skills" it lists creating, forgiving, teaching, admonishing, discipling, and healing. This guy is arrogant. As always, we did a background check on all applicants and you won't believe what we found.
The guy has had numerous complaints against him for such things as disturbing the peace and violence. He's violent? He trashed one religious institution when he went in there and turned over some tables. Then he attacked everyone by swinging something, a whip I think, and chased them away while he was yelling at them. There were huge complaints about him most everywhere he went. Oh, I almost forgot. His so-called disciples were doing the same thing. They're just like him, causing problems wherever they go!
Apparently, they are against a lot of preachers. It's a real problem. Like that's going to happen. There are a bunch of reports of him hanging around drunkards, prostitutes, drug addicts, and gluttons.
And get this, apparently, he calls people names like hypocrite, being full of dead bones, vipers, that they are of the devil, and stuff like that. This guy is a complete lunatic. Maybe I can use his resume as an illustration of how not to behave as a Christian in my sermon this week. But I have to warn you. Here at the bottom of the resume, he wrote that he wants to visit our church this Sunday.
Here, let me read this, "I will be at your next Sunday service. I am coming quickly as I visit seven churches. Is this guy desperate for a job? We definitely don't want anyone like that getting in here and messing up our congregation with this kind of wacko teaching.
What a joke this guy is. Introduction upon request. Note : "I will be at your next Sunday service. Home What's New and
Dear Sir: Thank you for submitting the resumes of the 12 men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them. Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for managerial Jesus sees the potential in all of us, and has called us to be disciples.
Jesus Christ selected the 12 disciples from among his early followers to become his closest companions. After an intensive discipleship course and following his resurrection from the dead, the Lord fully commissioned the apostles Matthew , Mark to advance God's kingdom and carry the gospel message to the world. We find the names of the 12 disciples in Matthew , Mark , and Luke These men became the pioneering leaders of the New Testament church, but they were not without faults and shortcomings. Interestingly, not one of the chosen 12 disciples was a scholar or rabbi.
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for managerial positions in your new organization.
Jerusalem Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests, and we have not only run the results through our computers, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocation aptitude consultant. It is the opinion of the staff that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking.
12 Disciple Resume'
Jump to navigation. Then Jesus summoned his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to cure every disease and every sickness. These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon, also known as Peter, and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, the one who betrayed him. These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: "Go nowhere among the Gentiles, and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. As you go, proclaim the good news, 'The kingdom of heaven has come near. Request new password.
Résumé of Jesus for Application to serve at the United Church of Personal Truth
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Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization.
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God’s RESUME for His Disciples–That’s Us!
Some years ago I saw a set of resumes created by not-yet-graduated university students. They were all three to four pages long. His resume was then revealed to us during an epic road trip and I was inspired to share it with the world:. Good work life balance a requirement. You may contact Me with questions. Why did Jesus use a picture of some random white dude instead of his own pic for Twitter and LinkedIn? It turns out according to JC, who should know that prior to the pope was acting CEO but was still reporting up to the son of god. When JC became head of the protestant church He had to resign from the Catholic church to avoid a conflict of interest — obscure heavenly law of some sort, apparently. Pretty good! My only question is why ? Specifically, if you search Jesus Christ Number you find a lot of references to , and a lot of social-media variations of JesusChris were taken already, which perversely proved that that was an appropriate name to use.
Management Consultants
Jump to navigation. I've saved the best for last. It's from a guy named Mr. Anyway, you won't believe this guy's resume. It's really short and hilarious. Apparently, he doesn't have any formal theological training.
